September 22, 2008
BPD ex girlfriend.Please advise?
firawi22 asked:
I dated this girl for 1 year and half, we have been on and off. She was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder…. This girl is very sweet, and so naive (She trusts everyone except the people who love her) I have witnessed so many things with her, she beat me up so many times, and I never touched her. Physical abuse, premscuity, Constant and continuous lies about everything, everthing, everything. I love her so much, and I dont want her to get hurt. She is on hardcore drugs, trashiest friends ever, they even beat her sometimes, she hooks up with like 5 guys at the same time. She basically have a gangster minset, and she comes from a very good christian family, they dont have any financial problems, and her parents are really nice people and they would do anything to help her out. and I tried telling her that all those people she is hanging out with are losers. If I am nice to her she would just smile and leave with another guy for days, if I tell her to leave me alone, man, she flips out, and be “I hate you, dont leave me” (typical BPD). Yesterday for example she wanted to talk, and she started bringing p the relationship issues, and then she attacked me (I got scars, bite marks, bruises, and she burned me with her ciggarette) and she was telling me “I got a boyfriend, I dont give a **** about you”!! I really dont care, I mean yes, she is playing all those sick jelousy games but I really care about her “Probably as a little sister who has so many emotional problems.” She was also telling me you either love me or hate me “again typical BPD”. Her dad called the cops when he saw her attacking me and she is now in jail. the thing is, is that she is a little one, she is 5.2, and am 6.3 but I dont wanna hit her, its disrespectful. Any advise?!!
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I dated this girl for 1 year and half, we have been on and off. She was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder…. This girl is very sweet, and so naive (She trusts everyone except the people who love her) I have witnessed so many things with her, she beat me up so many times, and I never touched her. Physical abuse, premscuity, Constant and continuous lies about everything, everthing, everything. I love her so much, and I dont want her to get hurt. She is on hardcore drugs, trashiest friends ever, they even beat her sometimes, she hooks up with like 5 guys at the same time. She basically have a gangster minset, and she comes from a very good christian family, they dont have any financial problems, and her parents are really nice people and they would do anything to help her out. and I tried telling her that all those people she is hanging out with are losers. If I am nice to her she would just smile and leave with another guy for days, if I tell her to leave me alone, man, she flips out, and be “I hate you, dont leave me” (typical BPD). Yesterday for example she wanted to talk, and she started bringing p the relationship issues, and then she attacked me (I got scars, bite marks, bruises, and she burned me with her ciggarette) and she was telling me “I got a boyfriend, I dont give a **** about you”!! I really dont care, I mean yes, she is playing all those sick jelousy games but I really care about her “Probably as a little sister who has so many emotional problems.” She was also telling me you either love me or hate me “again typical BPD”. Her dad called the cops when he saw her attacking me and she is now in jail. the thing is, is that she is a little one, she is 5.2, and am 6.3 but I dont wanna hit her, its disrespectful. Any advise?!!
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Filed under Mental Health by kris
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Comments on BPD ex girlfriend.Please advise? »
sounds like it’s best if you avoid her. she’s going to get into trouble whether you try to help her or not, and it might be worse overall if you try to involve yourself when she doesn’t want you to.
Physical abuse is not acceptable in a lasting relationship. You will get tired of it sooner or later. I would run, if I were you. You seem like a sweet man, and you deserve someone who will treat you right…Yet, stay sweet;-)
She was meant to be in jail for a reason and is facing the consequence. It’s not your fault.
Good luck! and Happy New Year! Start the New Year with joy and happiness ahead!
firawi,
She does not sound like she wants to get help for her disorder. It sounds to me like you want to be with her but you cannot stand her disordered behaviour.
Their *good side* is fantastic, we think we found our one true love. We think we found our perfect match. However, there is this bad side thing that shows up and somehow it is all *our fault*.
I can tell you it is their disorder, and when their bad side shows up it is still their disorder, their state of mind that makes it happen. And there does not have to be a reason at all. A married a woman very much like your girlfriend. I stayed *married* for 28 years. In my case, things only got worse over time, the bad side showed up more often and got worse.
You will probably say that you are different than I. You will probably say *well that won’t happen to me*. And you could be right. But I have to tell you that the odds are very much against you.
And here is a hard question for you, I have to ask this, why would you put up with someone who mistreats you this way and supposedly loves you?
Until she gets serious help over a long period of time, she will not be able to have an adult relationship with anyone. The way she is behaving is very much like a two year in an adult body. Think about this and what affect she has had on you already…..
You’re probably going to hate me for this but… I have BPD and I had a girlfriend with the same disorder, and she was the same as your gf. I eventually had to dump her because of her behaviour.
You have to accept that she has a serious disorder, and it’s unlikely she will get better without treatment. You will continue to have these problems with her, and a few years down the line you will regret staying with her. There are very real risks that she could bring a disease back with her after one disappearing acts, or have trouble with one of her gangsta friends.
Either way you’re going to get hurt worse than bruises or bite marks, I can virtually guarantee it.
You sound like a guy that any female would like. Walk away from the relationship, and find a girl who can treat you with dignity and respect.